Mountain Number One: My disobedient heart.

When Joe first felt the burden, I was not with him.  My biggest concern was how I could be a mother and a missionary.  Whenever he wanted to talk about it I would cringe.  I thought maybe we could adopt one of those children.  Joe thought that sounded good, but that was not it.  I prayed the Lord would change his mind.  This went on for several years.  I remember telling God that I felt I could support a missionary, support a child, even adopt a child.  I just didn't think I could go.  So I half heartily submitted to doing something for this cause.  (I'm not saying supporting a missionary, a child or even adopting a child is half hearted.  It was just trying to be transparent in that I knew that it wasn't what he was asking of us.  I was trying to find a way that I could be obedient without actually doing what he was asking of us.)  So I knew that no matter what we did, we couldn't really do much with our farm and our debt.  So we decided to put our place for sale and look for a cheaper home.  We made an appointment to look at a house in Berne.  On the way there, I remember Joe was talking about going again.  I was looking out my window and thinking, "I'll go if I have to, I just wish he wouldn't talk about it so much."  When we got to this house we knew right away that it wasn't the house for us, but the realtor told us he thinks we'd like a different house he had listed.  He went on to say that it was the home of a family who were volunteer missionaries and they had gone full time and needed to sell their home.  (We had not told him our story!)  So when we looked at this home I saw their pictures on the wall.  I saw the pictures of the mother and father and of the small children.  And then I noticed something.  I was looking at a picture of a special needs child.  This lady was a a wife, a mother to small children, along with a special needs child, and a missionary.  The longer I was in their home the Lord began to work on my heart and I felt a confidence that I had not yet had.  I could do this.  If she could do it, then I could do it.  Then the Lord reminded me, "No, 'if I helped her do it, I'll help you do it.' "  The house wasn't for us, and we had our place listed For Sale for over a year and it did not sell.  Yet what happened that day was the Lord's removal of the first mountain.  It wasn't until then that I was whole-heartily willing to do whatever it was he wanted us to do.  Even if that meant going.  On the trip home I was the one who couldn't stop talking about it.  We never know what the Lord will use to get our attention and change our heart.  I'll share more next time how the Lord showed us the need and the place he wanted us to go.  We do serve an amazing God who WHO WILL MOVE MOUNTAINS FOR HIS WILL TO BE DONE...ONE AT A TIME.